Under Construction March 7, 2012
“I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.”~Ezekiel 11:19
Thoughts While Making Spaghetti March 5, 2012
I am here, in my kitchen with a sink half-full of dirty dishes and pasta boiling on the stove. One child is practicing Jingle Bells on his cello and the other two are running around playing an ill-advised game of tag. There is laundry to do and it is getting colder outside. The sky is darkening and the sunset is orange behind the swing set and the pine trees…night will arrive in that moment I never can quite catch, the crossing of day’s end. I’ve promised a post-dinner board game and everyone needs a bath…my husband will come home after dark. I’ll sit by him and work on the Greek class that has my brain in a jumble of inflection and vocabulary until I (inevitably) fall asleep. Another evening of dishes, stories, the Food Network. I don’t know what your version of a regular night is, but this is mine.
And in the midst of all this, I think of those who have lost these common, ordinary securities over the last week or so. I am reminded to be grateful for every out of place toy, every piece of laundry I must fold, the strawberry yogurt that was JUST splattered all over the kitchen floor…every moment with these miracle-people I call family.
It is so easy to get caught up in the every-day. We forget how rare and beautiful the every-day really is…and my heart is crumbling for all the times I’ve taken it for granted, for all the times I forget to say thank You. I am sorry for those moments.
I don’t want to live thoughtlessly. I want to live in constant awe and gratitude for what has been given to me…I want to be soul-awake so that I don’t sleep-walk through a field of blessings and never notice the splendor.
Will you join with me in looking at our ‘ordinary’ and seeing the extraordinary? The blessings? The marvel of spaghetti and another Monday night?
Will you join with me in praying for all of those affected by the devastating storms? Power isn’t in our words, but in the One who hears them…I know that the Holy Spirit can comfort and provide.
We can also help by donating through World Vision, who has already began reaching out to these communities.
In an uncertain world, we have certain strength in Christ (Phil. 4:13).I hope that we will find a way to share His truth in love this week with someone who needs Him.
March 5, 2012
With the drawing of this Love and the voice of this Calling
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, unremembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always—
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flames are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.
~TS Eliot, The Four Quartets
Trusting the Father February 28, 2012
I hate to admit that an ear-ache and sinus congestion is enough to knock me off my feet for the day, but…that’s exactly what happened today. Since I couldn’t handle much else, I’ve watched more (detailed) news than I have in a while.
All of the headlines I saw were unsettling. As I watched families in distress, the confusion and tension of our own nation’s political sphere, and the precarious international situations, I felt afraid. I felt frustrated that I have absolutely zero control in these crisis moments that could affect my family…I can’t predict or stop the violence that shows up even in our schools, on our streets, and rocks the foundations of families across the globe.
I had to take a breath (and, um, turn off the news). And because I wondered if some of you might be feeling anxious about things too, I wanted to remind us - it’s time to look to our Father.
Once upon a time, when one of my younger sisters was feeling apprehension about the future, I put it this way…
Me: You know Dad, right?
Her: Duh.
Me: Yeah, okay. Deserved. Anyway, what would you do if Dad showed up and told you to get in the car because he wanted to take you somewhere? You shouldn’t even pack a bag because he’ll get what you need on the way.
Her: I’d want to know where we were going!
Me: Sure, but what if he said you just had to wait and see? Because it was a surprise? Would you do what he said?
Her: That’d be weird. But yes.
Me: Yes. Because you know he has only ever done things that were good for you. Because you know he’ll take care of you. Because he’s Dad.
I’m sure you can see where I was going with that line of thought, but bear with me…I need the reminder today.
My siblings and I know that our dad loves us and so we trust him. If my dad tells me something, I believe him. I know he is speaking and acting for my best interests (even if at the time of some of those decisions during my childhood, I may not have believed it…;)). I know that he has never once purposefully hurt me and has never abandoned me…if a time comes when I need help, I know he’ll be there. Because of who he is and because of how he has always been worthy of my trust, if he showed up at my house tomorrow and told me to get into the car? I’d get in. Even if he wouldn’t tell me where we were headed. I’d trust that it must be important. If it was a long drive, I’d probably even kick back and sleep on the way.
If my earthly father has taken such good care of me so that I’d trust him to the ends of the earth, shouldn’t I trust my Heavenly Father–this Almighty God who has ever pursued me with unalterable love– even more?
I don’t know what your experience with a father-figure has been on this earth, but I know with absolute certainty that you are loved by your Father in Heaven. I know that He created you, fearfully and wonderfully, and I know that this planet spins and blooms by His power. I know that nations have risen and fallen, but His Word has remained. I know that wars have come and gone, seasons and seasons passed by, the world has changed in so many ways – -but He is still the same. Yesterday, today, and forever He knows exactly where we all began and He knows exactly where we are going. Alpha and Omega, Author and Finisher, the First and the Last — He is in control of every generation and ours is no exception.
So, no, we don’t know what can unfold even by the end of the night — but our Father knows. And whatever the journey requires along the way, He will provide. He will give us the strength, the grace, and the peace to handle every pit-stop, every mountain, every flood, every treacherous terrain. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?…So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’…your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow…” (from Matthew 6)
He just wants us to trust Him. To know that He is working things out for our best interests. To know that He can handle the car, the road, the navigation, the destination, and everything we need from beginning to end. He doesn’t want us to be afraid of the future. He doesn’t want us to sit and worry…in fact, He wants us to have such peace in His power that we can kick back and rest in Him all along the way.
He wants us to know, without doubt, that nothing can separate us from His love. Nothing. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (from Romans 8)
We are secure in His love and so He will carry us from this chapter of our story to the next, the one only He can see. And He will do so with the same love, the same compassion, and the same goodness that He has always shown to us, His children.
So if you feel worried about the state of this world or the state of your life, talk to your Father. He wants to speak peace into your heart and to let you know that, whatever happens in this world, He is looking out for you. He’s taking care of all things. And whenever you need Him, He is already right there with you.
Psalm 121
“I will lift up my eyes to the hills— From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel Shall neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, Nor the moon by night.
The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.”
Stampede February 27, 2012
“The next day the huge crowd that had arrived for the Feast heard that Jesus was entering Jerusalem. They broke off palm branches and went out to meet him. And they cheered: Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in God’s name! Yes! The King of Israel!…The crowd that had been with him when he called Lazarus from the tomb, raising him from the dead, was there giving eyewitness accounts. It was because they had spread the word of this latest God-sign that the crowd swelled to a welcoming parade. The Pharisees took one look and threw up their hands: “It’s out of control. The world’s in a stampede after him.” -from John 12 (the MSG)
I’ve often read this portion of John 12, imagining people crowded in the city streets, relaying everything they’d heard about Jesus and eager to see Him face-to-face. Those who had seen Lazarus emerge from his tomb were exhilarated by the sight of death defeated and proclaimed this absolute miracle to everyone– what power, what authority, what divine favor rested on Jesus, son of Israel! With this man came healing and deliverance, provision and life itself — was there anything He could not do?
Maybe the men and women looked sideways at the Roman soldiers, thinking that their time of ruling the streets of Jerusalem would soon be over. Maybe they wanted to welcome in this man of divine power, believing that he would be the one to finally liberate their people.
They were looking for the fulfillment of God’ s promises and hopeful that this man called Jesus was the One….their Messiah.
Knowing that some of these same men and women were likely the ones who cried for His death only a short time later, I’ve often thought about our own slippery allegiance…how our adoration can turn to accusation just like theirs. I’ve thought about the way I welcome Him into my own life on a day-to-day basis…do I invite Him in with praise? Do I leave everything behind to press in to His presence, wanting to see His face?
I’ve wondered what Jesus was thinking as the cheers of ‘Hosanna’ met Him. I wonder if He thought about how these crowds would soon betray Him. I’ve wondered if His spirit was heavy, even as the palm branches waved, because His people could not see that the Kingdom of God would begin in their hearts and not in political power. Maybe He looked ahead to the day when He would return and they would understand that He was King, not only of Israel, but of Heaven and Earth…
Yes, there are so many parts of that journey through Jerusalem that have intrigued me before, but something different stood out to me as I re-read the passage this morning.
It occurred to me that, of course, they didn’t understand the full revelation of who He was. They didn’t yet know just how far He would go to obey the Father, to bring life to sin-deadened souls. They didn’t yet know that He would soon intercede on our behalf at the right hand of God, taking all of our burdens and abiding in our hearts.
They hadn’t yet witnessed the full depths of His love — but, still, they knew that Jesus was no ordinary man. They knew the power that they had seen, the compassion and wisdom He’d shown.
They knew He was drawing near.
And that was enough to get them moving. In acknowledgement of what had already come to pass and in anticipation of what was yet to come–they spoke of their hope to everyone who would listen. They spread the news and so a crowd welcomed Him in jubilation and honor.
As I considered the way that those who’d followed Him ‘spread the word of the latest God-sign‘ so that the crowds swelled in eagerness to see the Jesus, I felt a question stir in my heart –
what about us?
Because we do have the privilege and honor of knowing the fullness of the Savior’s sacrifice. Not only have we seen His power, but we ourselves are filled with His Spirit and grace — if the eye-witnesses to Lazarus’ resurrection were excited, how so much (incomparably more!) was Lazarus himself amazed at his new life? We, who were once dead in sin, are now alive! We are the walking/talking miracles, signs of God’s power and mercy!
And don’t we believe that He is returning to us, just as He promised?
So are we so over-joyed, so thankful, so eager for His return that we can’t stop sharing our latest ‘God-sign’? Do we share how He’s moved in our lives? Is there no stopping our adoration? Does satan try to keep our testimonies quiet to no avail? Are we so excited to welcome Him that we seek Him and bring along the crowds, with praise ringing bold and true,–a ‘stampede after Him‘ — until the enemy must throw up his hands in despair because it’s out of his control?
I pray that this becomes our story…I pray that we renew our passion…I pray that we will learn to open up and speak His hope…I pray that we, who are so blessed with the truth of His gospel, will not fail in spreading the Word.
When He returns again, there will be no question as to Who He is. On that day, the King of Kings will come with might and power…every knee shall bow and tongue confess that He is Lord.
And, until that day, in the here and now…it is up to us, the family of God, to lead the way to worship. It is up to us to share the miracle of life we’ve been given. It is up to us to declare the truth of who this Jesus is — although the Jewish men and women didn’t know it on that day they gathered in the streets, He is the fulfillment of God’s promises. The true Messiah, the Lion and the Lamb, the King of our hearts. His love is the greatest miracle and it’s for whoever will receive it.
By the power of the Holy Spirit and the word of our testimonies, will you pray with me that we will speak of His love to all of those who need Him? Will you pray that we will see our ‘world stampede after Him’?
Prayer February 22, 2012
Wild wonder, that I can enter into Your presence…this is holy ground, wherever I call Your name and find You with me (and so everywhere is sacred, for “where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.”) Who is like You, Lord, in love or in power? No one can compare to Your majesty…and yet You, King of all Kings, have numbered both my tears and every hair on my head. This heart runneth over and over (and over again) in thankfulness for who You are…
…and, still, there is bluster and noise. Life presses in and I allow this and that and the other to take up space in my heart that rightfully belongs to You. Oh, I am weary of forgetting You and the sand-spurs of sin sticking to my skin…falling so short of what You’ve called me to be, I can only say that I’m sorry, in need (again and again) of Your grace.
Who could stand in the light of Your holiness? I am breathless with gratitude for the gift of Your Son. “Behold, what manner of love is this?” Love so lavish, extravagant, divine that He would give His life for me, become my righteousness and the reason I whisper Your name–Abba-Father– and You know me as child, adopted and joint-heir in this kingdom…me, so unworthy and somehow still chosen…
Please sing me awake with Your love song so that I can’t close my eyes to You…You are worthy of only my all…and my all doesn’t seem like enough and my faith somehow still falters, but frail beginnings grow in Your hands and so I offer to You: me. (How can it be, that this is what You desire? How wide, how deep, how long, how high is Your love…)
Lord, give me strength enough to ask You to mold me–not on my terms, but Yours. Will you interrupt me, change me, sanctify anew, move in this place ? (oh, I want to trust Your heart enough to hold nothing back!)…I believe– please, Father, help my unbelief…for my soul, it is so thirsty and my heart full of yearning for the Water and Bread that satisfies…
…because we are in desperate need, all of us, in the noise and the chaos and the pain — these generations searching and searching, needing something True and something Good…needing You, only You.
I am humbly before You…asking for Your Spirit to re-define us so that we will be Your hands and feet, a holy people set apart for You…isn’t it time that we hear Your Word and follow Your heart? Lord, this I know to be true: Your compassion can overwhelm this darkness, Your love cast out all fear. Fill us more and more with Your love until it is overflowing, a mighty river flowing from Your heart to our hearts to every single heart on this earth…
This waiting-time, it’s not forever — and until You come again, Lord, this is the time and the place –now, today, wherever we are and wherever we go– to be Your good and faithful servants…transform us until we are like the moon, reflecting Your life-giving Light. And I know that You will guide us, bring us safely and forever home to You…in the fullness of time, our eyes will see Your face, at last — Your presence our only dwelling-place…and this is eternal wild wonder, this is awe and this is blessing.
This is my heart left only with simple praise.
Thank You, Abba-Father.
Just Hold Me February 21, 2012
{My little ones haven’t felt well today, and so I was reminded of this post from about this same time last year…}
My little ones are sick. Giggles have been replaced with whimpers (sore throats=no fun), the running around has been usurped by lying on the couch, and the usual independence has turned into…’Mommy, hold me.”
And I am more than happy to comply with that request. Because when my babies are in pain, I’ll do whatever I can to alleviate it. They’re my children — and my instinct is to comfort them in their distress.
I had to convince my oldest to take his medicine before bedtime. I said all of the usual mom-ish things — like ‘it’s good for you’ and ‘it’ll make you feel better’ and all that, feeling frustrated because his stubbornness was only preventing me from easing his pain. And when he winced through a round of coughing in the midst of the medicine battle, this was my exasperated plea: ”Please let me help you. I want to help you get better.”
It occurred to me that, sometimes, this must be how God feels with us. I know that I’ve had seasons of holding onto resentment, bitterness, fear, anger…times when I was sick with sin. And even though I knew He was there, waiting to help me, I resisted Him. Maybe because I knew it would be uncomfortable. Sometimes medicine doesn’t taste good. It can be hard, even painful, to allow God to ‘doctor’ us into what we need to be.
But the whole time, He’s saying…”Please let Me help you. Only I can make you whole…” He longs to comfort us, to restore our joy and peace. He came to bind up the brokenhearted, to comfort those who mourn, to show us compassion.
So maybe you’re not feeling your best today. Maybe your heart is heavy or there’s something you’ve been holding back from Him…all you have to say is “just hold me, Father.” Surrender your life to Him, the good and the bad…He knows how to take care of you. After all, He has loved you since before you were born, enough that He sent His Son to bear the pain of your transgressions and to be wounded so that you can be healed. He loves you now, just as you are. And His love will endure forever…friend, you can rest in Him.
“The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time. You open Your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.” ~Psalm 145: 13-18
From Nothing February 20, 2012
Something from nothing. That is the way He began our story and it is the way of unfolding ever since. It’s what we can’t extract, pin-point, or make in a test tube. It’s elusive, invisible, and yet — it’s everything. It’s life. It’s that moment of untenable mystery-when egg becomes embryo, when seed becomes sprout, when what wasn’t suddenly is.
This beginning, it comes from Him — all God-spoken, God-breathed. The source of being itself, it is Him. Elohim, God the Creator and the judge of the universe…He created the world, He brought life into it, and called it ‘good’.
He is the difference-maker. What was void and empty became full of goodness.Transformation is impossible without a power to fuel it, and it is His power — the spark of His voice — that ignites creation. He is the source, the current of life that bursts through our own veins. Our limbs unfurling, our eyes opening, our hearts tap-tap-tapping by His breath.
His voice speaks and where there was darkness, a planet spins. Where there is formless depths, land emerges. He knows what is to come and He prepares. Plants, flowers, trees. These ideas will have function, and He chooses to add loveliness. A trade-mark, this making things beautiful in nearly endless varieties. Out of the black, stars– and He knows them each by name. A particular shining beacon, just close enough for the flourish of the foliage by day and its reflection to guide the night. Another stage complete and there are animals large and small, patterned and quick, flying and swimming, tunneling and grazing.
Planet Earth, creation unrivaled.
When the scent of orange trees makes the air sweet, when the sun sets over an ocean and stops me right in my tracks, when snow twirls its frosted patterns over the ground, when I see a squirrel run up the pine tree in my backyard — I think of Him.
He didn’t have to dazzle us with the simple bright wonder of the full moon or a field of tulips. He didn’t have to give the birds their cheerful melodies. He didn’t have to form the horse with its awesome thundering gallop…
But He did. And, in doing so, He shows us His character and He shows us how much He valued the creation still to come.
Consider this evidence of Him that we see every single day. Can you see His glory written in the great expanse of sky? His beauty in the arching of a dolphin’s leap through the air? His brilliance and plan in every detail working together for ecosystems to thrive, for seasons to change and nourish, for a gentle, slow-moving caterpillar to grow wings of color and fly? To everything a purpose…to everything His life-giving word.
Imagine a colorless world. A world without the fragrance of a garden, the taste of a crisp apple, the feel of warm sand beneath your feet. Could it be that the Creator designed it to bring your heart joy? Could it be that He prepared it all for humanity, so that we could know pleasure in what He has given to us? Could it be that He created it all to reveal His longing for relationship…His love…His heart for you and me?
And from His heart, with His marvelously transforming power, He creates us. Fallen from obedience, we hold ashes of guilt in our hands until He speaks mercy and beauty springs forth. Yes, when you and I have nothing, He speaks into our lives and gives us everything.
And from us, He asks only faith and love…
…funny, when you think of it, since the seeds for both He planted in our hearts. He requires nothing from us that He hasn’t already provided for us.
So what can we do but praise Him? What can we do but exalt His name, this Lord of all Creation who is full of majesty and mercy? To this Savior who brings life from death – - life abundant, new, and eternal- can we offer anything but adoration?
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come…with all creation I sing, praise to the King of Kings…You are my everything and I will adore you!”
Going Visiting… February 17, 2012
I was honored when one of my sweet friends from Christian Women Online, Julie, asked me to share part of my testimony on her blog. I hope that you’ll join me in discussing Idols, Altars, and Writer’s Block for today’s post at Gracefull Women…and then please take time to browse through Julie’s archives. I know you’ll find encouragement for your heart!
{May I offer a sneak peek?…
“It’s my mom’s fault that I’m writing this.
See, about a year and a half ago, I called her in a frustrated panic after a long while of unfruitful writing efforts. My novel came back from the agent as an ‘almost good enough’. My short stories kept getting rejected. And my new work was falling flat — so flat that I kept boring myself to sleep by the computer (literally). Knowing that my mother was kind of obligated to listen to me whine (not many people would sign up to hear someone moan about their writing habits), I called her up one night. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t write anything. Nothing. Every time I try to write a short story, it just crumbles. There are no new ideas!
Mom: Uh-huh?
Me: So, basically, I think I’m done. All I’ve wanted to do my whole life is write and now I’m in permanent writer’s block. I don’t know what to do about it! Is it time to give up?
Silence. I’m thinking she’s coming up with some inspirational speech. Some motivation, some prayerful hope. At least some motherly sympathy.
Mom: laughter. Lots of loud, loud laughter.
Me: (She’s not even listening! She’s watching people make funny faces on YouTube!) Um, Mom? Did you hear me?
Mom: (Catching her breath though the laughter) I heard you! It’s just so funny!
Me: (feel free to ascribe a high-pitched tone here): Funny?!?!?!
Mom: Yes! Because I’ve been praying that God would step in and help you to use your writing for what He wanted instead of those depressing stories you’ve been writing!
Me: You’ve been praying about my writing.
Mom: Yep.
Me: And I haven’t been able to write anything.
Mom: That’s what you’re telling me.
Me: This writer’s block is all your fault.
Mom: Sounds like something you need to talk to God about.
Me: Speechless. And thinking — but what if He takes it away?
What if He takes it away?
Even as I thought it, I heard the truth behind that question. A truth that was hard for me to hear coming from my own heart.
My devotion was to this dream instead of to the Dream-Giver. An idol was front and center in my life….”
I hope to share the rest of this story with you over at Gracefull Women! }
Have a wonderful weekend, friends!
